I know this sounds selfish and childish but I want another child. I miss my little angel terribly and although I know this would be the worst thing at the moment, I want to be pregnant again. I miss having a little bean inside of me to talk to and think about. I know I'm homeless and would have no support but I really want to be a mother. I haven't decided whether or not to stop taking that pill yet. And I don't even know if Brown will want to be intimate with me again! I wonder if he feels guilty about the abortion...I hope he does. Nothing is going to fill the hole in my heart but another child. I am so sorry for what I have done. I want a baby in October or November of this year. I have no idea what God wants me to do. I don't even know if I should pray because it doesn't seem like my prayers ever get heard or answered. I just want peace.
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