Fancy, huh?

Well, I have good news. Both my sister and I have interviews this coming week. And these are REAL jobs. Mine is at the college and she got me in the door for that one, and her interview is a place I found but it turns out she went to school with the girl whose contact info was on the job announcement! So it looks like God has some positive changes in store for my family and I. I pray that we both get these positions and I truly feel that we will. My spirit feels more settled, not as nervous and frantic as it did for the other jobs I've interviewed for. And lets face it-I've always said I wanted to work at the college. That place has always been a constant for me for the past 10 years and it was the first place we went to after we got evicted a year ago so its almost like we're coming full circle. When we get these jobs, we'll be able to get both vehicles repaired, I can get another car, we can get our own place to stay and I can get my hair and nails done again on a regular, lol! Not to mention clothes and food. So I'm prayerful, thankful, and optimistic. And in my mind, I'm fancy, huh! :-D

Scratch you with my toenails

So I got 2o hours of overtime for this upcoming paycheck and I know we're gonna need it. I know that stuck in folks craw at work but what can they do? I'm just gonna ignore those who don't have any sense and who are trying to bring me down. You know I've got enough on me as it is. But to be honest, I am so tired of this job that I don't know what to do with myself. I love the babies but man I want to do something else more academically challenging and peaceful. I pray that it comes soon and very soon. I also want to get my hair done and get a pedicure, and go shopping. But I feel all of my check is going to keeping us afloat for another two weeks, which is ok but still...oh well. This is why I can't even get too angry with the drama at work. I just imagine scratching them with my toenails and then I just laugh it off. Something has got to give in a positive way for me and my family cause I just don't know how much more of this crap we can take.

Late

So, my period was five days late this go around, but it was probably due to the fact that I've been under alot of stress at work. I caught a two week break with the rooms but then that old thing at work had been snooping around trying to sabotage me when I'm clearly in the right. On one hand, it doesn't bother me at all. I clearly have other things more pressing going on in my personal life. But on the other hand, I want to tell that woman off just to get my point across and to let her know that I am not greedy nor ignorant. So I guess it was that reason why my period was late. But I just don't understand why all this drama has to happen to my family and I in the first place. Ah well...it never does any good to dwell on the "what ifs" so I wont even go there. I'll just enjoy my rest and my alcohol. I might be able to get a job on campus due to my sister and her networking skills. I truly hope I get it because that would be a big help to my family and then I can leave the daycare and all its drama behind. I just want to walk away from something for once by my own accord, and not be kicked out or have things taken away from me. I just want to have a voice in the direction my life is headed, for once. Happily, though, Brown and I are doing well. We talk and laugh together. I really feel that when things get better, he and I may take the next step in our relationship. So I guess I'll stop trying to get pregnant and start taking responsibility to ensure that it doesn't happen, although I feel that God is handling that even though I'm not on birth control. Its like Brown is never around during my fertile days and he never ejaculates in me. So I guess in a way I don't even have to worry. So now I just have to make sure no unexpected pregnancy occurs and that Brown and I can do things the right way, the way we really and truly want. At least we can try for something to go right in our lives. So in conclusion: do a good job at the job I have, pray for a better one to manifest itself immediately, and take care of my family and my relationship with Brown. And thank God for what we have.

Old farts!

Ok, so that old wrinkly thing that's my supervisor at work says I can't work 10 hours any longer. Logically, I know she's right but damn if that didn't make me mad! I know that old fart is just mad for the overtime I'm making but she doesn't know what I'm doing with the money, cause I don't go whining to her like those other crybabies do. But I guess we'll see what goes down. I guess boss lady wants to know what's up but that isn't my problem if folks aren't doing their job-I do mine and then some! So whatever, I know at least Wednesday I get some more over time. The other days, well, we'll see. I'm just tired of fools being in charge. But I need to keep myself going there until I get another job. On a more positive note, Brown and I are happy and close and that has me estatic! I just love that man! Anyway, I pray that God delivers my family immediately because this lifestyle is very stressful and tiring. Do you know its been a YEAR since we were evicted??? I can't believe it! I just hope that this year of pain and lack is over-we're all tired.

Alcohol

Man, I have to be honest. Alcohol is a heck of a drug. I got pizza, smirnoff, and two activity books with colored pencils. And three days ago Brown came by and did his thing, including some oral sex after I asked. So I'm feeling lovely. I can barely type this entry! Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get by. Our church is paying for my parent's room for two weeks so that takes a load off of me for a bit. I may be able to get my hair done again. Its a two edged sword because we know that is the last of the assistance they're going to give us, plus they probably expect us to show up to a Mass. That is a lot of pressure for my family. I really hate being under someone else's thumb, but what can I do? I'm working as hard as I can at the daycare and trying to get overtime hours, and praying for a MUCH higher paying job. Or a winning lottery ticket in the high/upper millions. I don't know what is going to happen to my family, but I pray that positive changes occur VERY soon. Until then, I will continue to pray, and enjoy myself in the ways that I can.

4th of July

Well, I was going to bitch and moan about my 2nd year of lack regarding the 4th of July but then I got a call from Lowdown and that put a smile upon my face. Apparently, I am still loved and missed by people. I truly miss my life and I can't wait to get back to it. Ol Suga texted me as well but then that didn't go anywhere. So I know I was on his mind, which is kinda weird because I had a strange dream about him a few days ago. Weird...he is cute but if you ain't doing anything for me, then I can't do anything for you. Now Lowdown was saying some stuff and woo if I didn't think about having a little red baby for him!!! But I know I won't. I'm still hanging like a fool for Brown. I don't know what to say about him. I just pray for him. Now to be honest, I want me some Drake. I know, I know! He's a celebrity and there is like a one in a million chance that I would ever meet him, let alone have him fall in love with me, but I can't help myself! I figure it's just as plausable as winning the lottery, and you know I need that to happen! So anyway, I just keep daydreaming and praying that life will change for my family in a positive manner. I want to be unstoppable!!!!