I know it's been a while since I've written and I apologize. Ugh I don't even know where to begin. I still miss my child and ache with that decision, not to mention I feel so used by you-know-who. I said I wouldn't sleep with anyone else but I've been carrying on with Papi. The sex is getting better and better and we do it unprotected so there is a great chance I could get pregnant again. I know that's what I want, even though I'm scared to admit that and truly don't know what the hell I'm getting into. He does withdraw but that isn't always 100%. I know what I should do-get on birth control but seriously, everything available scares me to pieces! Hormonal is just too hormonal and non hormonal is too invasive. I wish I could just fuck him now...I just hope that if I do get pregnant by Papi, he wants me and the child, and that the child is healthy and beautiful...
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
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