Ya Blew It

Well, I don't know if I actually blew the interview or not but I will say that I don't feel very good about it. And even if I did, what's the use? I won't find out anything at the earliest until September. I don't even know what is happening to my family THIS WEEK, let alone in two months!!!! So I can't even let this get to me. Oh, and the church hasn't called us back about maybe helping us out again, so it looks like its up to me and my sister to pay this weeks' rent ourselves...sigh...I'm just so tired of never getting out of the barrel. And just when I get used to being in the barrel and keeping my head low, here comes something to bring my hope up and lift my head, but in the end, it doesn't come through and I feel even worse than before. And I'm tired of this emotional tug-of-war; it's why I didn't tell my dad about the interview. I don't want to get anyone else's hopes up along with mine-I don't want to be responsible for that. And I HATE how once again, I'm not having any type of summer! I want to go on vacations and party and enjoy the heat!!! But I guess I should just be happy to have shelter, clean clothes, a job, transportation, and food. Maybe next summer will be the summer of fun. Oh well, maybe one of the other jobs I applied for will hire me soon. Until then, I keep on keeping on and try to enjoy the good amidst the bad, and fantasize about a brighter future. God Bless.