Ok, so me and Brown are back right after the birthday fiasco. I mean, what else can I do-just not speak to him or see him? Hell No! Not when I don't have any other outlets and joy in my life! So I chose to deal and move on. Now, I've started the pill again and we had sex but it wasn't fruitful, if you get my drift. But now at work, three girls are pregnant and I admit, I feel left out. I don't want a kid born in an odd year but I do want kids. But Brown isn't ready, although his new nephew does put a smile on his face. I dunno...I guess I'll just continue on the pill until I run out and whatever happens, happens. I might just get accidentally pregnant one day and be happy but then again, maybe not. I just want a happy life with Brown. I want to see him everyday. I want to wake up next to him every morning and I want to go to bed with him every night. I don't think that's too much to ask. I dunno...I get all emotional when it comes to him and I don't always take his life and desires into consideration. But I hope that one day soon this part of my life will come to be. I do love him so much!
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