So So Scared...

Ok, in a few hours I'll know whether or not we can stay in this motel longer. We only have around $25 dollars and no other source of income has presented itself yet. That means no gas, no laundry, no food, and most importantly, no shelter. I don't think I'll lose my mind if we have to leave, but emotionally, I just can't take another eviction. I don't know what my family has done wrong. We are by no means perfect but what did we do to deserve this fate? Just when I feel that we're going to be ok, something tells me to look at when we had our apartments-I felt we weren't going to be evicted but we were. And what did the Haitians do to deserve that horrible earthquake? Nothing, yet innocent people have died and the death toll will only rise. So with things like that swimming in my head, what else can I believe except that we're going to be hungry, and dirty, and sleeping in our cars???? I have one tiny bright spot, well, two actually. My sister is ok back on campus so at least we don't have to worry about her physically. Brown and I are on a good level, each knowing that the other is dealing with difficult family situations. These thoughts keep me going, but honestly, what is God doing? We need Him in such a powerful and awesome way that I don't have the words to accurately express it. Mama always says we'll be ok, and we are, if I must be honest. We've always had food, shelter, and were able to clean and wash. And she's usually right about things, major things. And when she makes up her mind to do something, it usually works out in our favor, so I PRAY that this is also one of those times. I still want us to be financially independent, with homes and cars and enough money to live well for the rest of our lives and to be a blessing to others. But right now, I'd settle for knowing that we can stay in this motel room, have food and gas money, and be able to wash clothes. If I were to get a job, I have no problem wearing the same clothes until I got paid, just as long as my family and I have a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. I truly hope God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit hears my family's pleas and delivers us. GOD WE NEED YOU NOW!!!! WE ARE YOUR CHILDREN!!! DO NOT FORSAKE US, BUT ALLOW US TO LIVE AS CHILDREN OF KINGS SHOULD LIVE!!! WE WORSHIP YOU, WE GIVE YOU PRAISE!!!!! AMEN!!!!